This last week has been rough. We had two very dear and close friends lose their matriarchal grandmothers on the same day. Both were their maternal grandmothers. Both were the family leaders. The glue that held the family together.
One of them we knew her time was near. She had lived a long and beautiful life and the other was a complete surprise. It didn't feel like it was her time to go. Both losses however left deep pools of sadness in their wake. It got us to thinking about love and loss.
They say that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I disagree. I don't think that it is "better" - I think it's fucking unfair. For lack of a better word I think it sucks. When you love someone you give something of yourself to them. It doesn't come back when they are gone - that piece of you is also lost. Never to be seen again, trailing after your love where ever it is they go. That kind of real love leaves you with that hole that cannot be re-filled. It changes you, sometimes it changes you completely and sometimes you are molded with it.
I would say however fucking unfair the loss is. You can still be thankful. Thankful for the time, thankful for the change in you, thankful for how you were molded because of love. That is the beautiful thing about love - it's the only thing you can loose and still be thankful that it held you when it did.