The Truth about BDSM

BDSM, kink, sex ed, sexual education -

The Truth about BDSM

True practitioners know that the term “BDSM” is a broad term for the incredibly nuanced form of sexual expression. It is more than 50 Shades of light and dark Grey, it is more than whips and chains, it is more than just the dominatrix and latex.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an acronym for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. These are only high level terms that are often lumped together for the representation of alternative sexuality.

BDSM doesn’t equal sex

While some of it does and can, one does not necessarily mean that sex will be included. Sometimes this can be the acting out of a pre-described scene or as simple as sensory exploration of deprivation.

Not all BDSM involves pain

Some involve a level of pain sensation from the mild to the intense. Other activities can be purely psychological and have nothing to do with physical or sexual sensations.

BDSM’ers are not crazy or unstable

While “sadism” and “masochism” are recognized as “disorders” with the encyclopedia of mental disorder, many sex educators, physiologies and physicians agree that BDSM sexuality isn’t a disordered state of being and it does not inherently come from an abused or dysfunctional past. It also doesn’t mean that ne would engage in an abusive relationship should they practice BDSM or kink. In a 2008 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, people who engage in a classically “vanilla” sex had lower score of physiological distress. Even the term “vanilla” should not be used as a derogatory term but only attributed to persons who do not engage or participate in kinky sex.

Kinky interest change over time

The person changes over time as well as their sexuality. What may not do anything for you at one point of your life may be the only way you climax later in life. Exploration and freedom for change are both fundamental aspects to this kind of sexuality and always encouraged.

BDSM, Kink, and Fetish are not interchangeable terms

Kinky people sometimes practice BDSM. BDSM’ers can be considered kinky. Kinky people don’t always have fetishes. A fetish is the need for a particular thing, object, or other situation to occur to have sexual gratification.

BDSM relationships are built out of an explicit level of trust between partners

There are two levels of trust within relationships. The first and most common form of trust is best described as the “Knowing of what to do in the event that something should happen.” The second being, “Knowing that nothing will happen.” A successful sexual relationship occurs when there is this second, deeper trust amid the partners.

50 Shade of Grey is not an accurate representation of the kink community

While it did a great thing for shedding light and bringing kink out of the closet, it is pretty unrealistic.

Kink education is absolutely necessary

Before you go past the fuzzy handcuffs and the blindfold, you have to do your research on your method of play. Some tools can be rather tricky and can lead to serious injury if you are not clear in how to use the tools properly. Something a seemingly easy as fisting can injure someone if the knowing of how to gradually stretch the skin during states of arousal.